Beach Snobs

Let me start by saying I like all beaches, some more than others but I like them all. So it makes me really mad when people diss on my beach...Myrtle Beach. I can hear some of you groaning now...Myrtle Beach is the "Redneck Riviera", the water is green, the beaches are too crowded, there are too many Wings and Eagles selling horrible t-shirts that comment on men's "Johnsons".

Well guess what? You are right, but that is not all Myrtle Beach is, to me MB is:

The place where i grew up every summer hanging out at the Arcade
Where I saw my first shooting star sitting on the beach at Ocean Lakes Campground
Painters Ice Cream
Where I first tasted crab legs
Where I got my freckles from getting sun burned because I was on the beach from 10:00am to 3:00 pm without sunscreen
Where me and my family, immediate and extended would wait in line for two hours just to eat at Nances in Calabash
Setting off $100 worth of fireworks on the 4th of July
Spending hours in Willards Fireworks buying said fireworks
Where i spent the better part of my early teenage years rocking at the Magic Attic
Where I waited patiently to hear the pipe organ at the Pavilion
Where I got my first job as a lifeguard at the waterslide Magic Mountain
Where I spent countless hours listening to Whitesnake while cruising the strip
Where I partied with all my friends at my high school graduation

Where I still love to go and reminisce and eat at Nances. I love you Myrtle Beach and nobody is changing my mind.

I am confused by people and things

I am confused by people and things. I'm not dumb, in fact I am quite smart, not really, really smart but certainly smart enough. So why can't I grasp certain concepts and why can't I wrap my mind around certain events? Below are some things I don't understand today...

...Why Nelson Mandela's granddaughter had to die right before opening celebrations at the World Cup
...How a television works
...Why the girl in the restaurant at lunch today brought her sandwich in the bathroom and was eating it while waiting on a stall
...How sweet and sour sauce can be both sweet and sour
...Who the hell Alvin Green is
...What a Key Grip is
...How to tell someone you don't love them when you know they love you
...Why I always trip on the same brick sticking up in the courtyard
...How to clean out a three hole puncher without spilling nine hundred thousand and forty three little white circles on myself
...How the young lady who was sailing around the world at the age of 17 (Abby) could be so different than myself at 17

Hummmm...

Bad Words

I think cancer is a word you whisper, it is a scary word even then so I try not to say it much, especially out loud. There are a few words that bother me when I say them, some for their meaning some for the sound they make and some for the way they feel in my mouth.

Words like "rural", it doesn't even sound like a real word to me, it sounds like a partial word. "Budgeted" is another I hate, I can't stop the word...it keeps going in my mouth and it comes out as budgetedededed. "Moist" is another, I don't want anything moist except for a towelette after eating ribs...and I can use the word "wet" and convey the same message, "moist" is dead to me. "Astigmatism" or "A stigmatism" or "An astigmatism", hate them all, can't figure it out, sounds strange to me every way.

"Squiggly", now that's a good word, "Baklava" another good one, and "Dad"...one of my favorites.